Dear Drew, What the fuck is Slenderman?

Slenderman is widely known as a mythical creature that many people tell tales of but no one has actually ever seen, much like you getting an attractive prom date. Slenderman has been linked to myths in America as well as Mexico, so I assume he has dual citizenship and can make one hell of a chile releno. Now if you do ever see him make sure you run as fast as you can, not because he will hurt you but because you really need to lose some weight off your fat ass. Thanks!