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Garrett - Via Twitter |
@askdrewnow I added your twitter feed to the https://t.co/vuHnVsaH feed. Also anything I say with #askdrewnow will show up as well. |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
Which "philia" is having sex with corpses? Necrophilia? Yeah, thats odd right? If ur answer is "no" please DM me #IHaveSoManyQuestions |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
I hope when the time comes for me to perish that I get the chance to Die Hard. Not the movie...you know...a boner. #DieHard |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
If anyone is thinking about seeing a therapist, please never forget that therapist is one space away from being The Rapist #ThinkAboutIt |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
#WhatMadeMeMadAsAKid @HeatherDawn9810 whining about 1 little plastic knife scratch on her cornea. #TheEyePatchMadeItAllWorthwhile |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
#WhatMadeMeMadAsAKid Bitches and hoes...bitches and hoes. |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
#WhatMadeMeMadAsAKid Having such a low alcohol tolerance that 2 Zimas left me unconscious. Its hard to pick up chicks that way. |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
#WhatMadeMeMadAsAKid Having 12 different babysitters who all tried to play "this will be our little secret" with me. #ItsExactlyWhatYouThink |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
Sometimes when Im feeling depressed I like to remember that people used to die from gout. That makes me smile. #GoutMakesMeHappy |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
Anyone else really like looking at that violin players boobs on the iphone commercial? Yeah, I figured I was the only pervert. #iphoneBoobs |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
About to blow the lid off the Pizza Hut sausage conspiracy...stay tuned #ItsAlpacaMeat |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
Finally figured out why rosemary is my favorite seasoning, must b frm when Roman Polanski molested me when I was 26 yrs old #ImRosemarysBaby |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
@balconyfool And make sure you check ur Twitter more often, my tweets r so juicy they make everyones day 12 times better #Guaranteed |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
@balconyfool The mighty Pauly G returns! Glad to see u r still alive! Also glad to see you went with the @ThatKevinSmith halloween costume! |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
@HeatherDawn9810 Your $3 Pinecone check is in the mail. |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
If this old piece of shit gray haired dude at the country club gives me one more shitty look Im going to kick him in his old balls #Ass |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
Ppl like to say I use cat fur clippers 2 trim my beard, but I like to say the cats use my beard trimmer 2 clip their fur #BoughtItAtPetsmart |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
Just popped a bottle of champagne...thanks for nothing 5 days of sobriety. #TimeToDrink |
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Drew - Via Twitter |
5 full days without alcohol...about ready to start doing mouth wash shots. #Listerene |
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