Dear Drew,
Pee Wee Herman's a real wiener....Right?

Dear Drew, I was wondering what Jason and Leatherface do on a sunny day?

Did you get my gift?

Dear Drew, pancakes or waffles?

Well Cassie...I'd have to say I'm more of a pancakes type of guy. There's something about those thin little flaps of dough that remind me of my childhood. At least once a year, instead of the regular morning punch in the face, my step-step-step mom would make me two bread pudding pancakes. They usually tasted like vodka and cigarette butts, so I assume that's what bread pudding is, but for those 10 minutes a year I felt like we were a real family. Ahhhh, delicious pancake memories.

Dear Drew, do you have a vagina?

Well Travis...yes, I sure do. Or maybe I don't...meet me behind your closest 7-11 tonight at 11:30 and find out for yourself. Thanks for the fantastic question, keep 'em coming genius.

I'm addicted to talking to underage turkey's in the sex chat rooms. I was wondering what kinda trouble I could get into by trying to bump giblets with a turkey that hasn't developed feathers in all the adult places?

Dear Drew, Why don't you hire someone new to work on your website? It sucks.

Dear Drew,
I broke my arm and it hurts what should I do

Well, the first thing you should do is quit whining. I once stubbed my toe a little bit and only cried for an hour, so a broken arm is nothing. But if the pain is really too much to handle, just take a handful of aspirin, tape them to the most painful parts of your arm, and head to the nearest sauna to sweat your ass off and get that lovely aspirin residue soaking deep in to your appendage. Trust me, it works much better than ingesting or snorting them. So man ( or woman, I don't know you) up and get back in there, a broken arm is no reason to stop showing up to your job, even if you are just a fluff for your uncle's porno business. Gross.

Fun Fact. We are now being followed by @aots (Attack of the Show) on Twitter. (twitter.com/askdrewnow) So leave your best questions and we may create a video answer good enough to get on TV! (blatant lie.) Actually, more than likely we'll just answer it with a text response and nobody will ever see it... or we might just ignore it. WHO KNOWS!? At any rate we will be trying to answer more questions now than we have in the past year, so keep them coming in.

Dear Drew, Who is your favorite coco chatter?

I have no idea. I only eat Coco Chatter Puffs for breakfast....so I would say...Molly Ringwald? Is she a coco chatter? The Breakfast Club is the coco chatter bomb.

Dear Drew,
how do you download app for ipod for texting to let you know if someone is typing back

How the hell would I know? Apple products are for hipster doofus idiots. If you think you are creative and smart, and you want an ipod...go fu*k yourself, because apple proucts suck balls. Get an Android phone...they aren't pretentious and you wont get your ass kicked when I see you. So in summary, Apple sucks, unless you wear black turtle necks and hope to be the star of your high school production of, Macbeth...in which case you are already such a gigantic pussy you won't understand what I'm saying anyway. Bitch.

Dear Drew, i lost my job, im behide on car payments ;i have 13 weeks to wait until i get my unemployment can someone help me catch up on my payments?

Hi Bertha. The answer is no...no one can help you with your payments. Except maybe Ed McMahon...but he is dead, so you are screwed. Unless you want to give me your car, and let me cruise around with it for chicks, you are screwed. Enjoy the new America. Work hard and get boned. That's the new American dream.

Dear Drew, the red in my TV shadows n bleeds real bad. Why??

Well Jeff...I think it is because you are a total moron. Have you ever thought about changing your tv settings to not show the stupid bleeding red? Maybe stop watching so many episoddes of True Blood and start watching something normal like the Housewives of Orange County and maybe you won't see so much red on your tv. Unless they all start having their period at the same time...in which case you might see even more red than you are used to. F those bitches...they suck my balls.