Dear Drew, I'm about to graduate and don't want to have to get a real job. My plan to go to school, find a rich lady, then retire on her account has failed miserably. Any advice for a backup plan?

Golddigging Guy in Goehner, This is a problem that I take very seriously as I feel everyone deserves to find a rich lady and retire on her dime. But the sad truth is that it can be very difficult to actually accomplish such a feat. Let's be honest, it's more likely you will end up with a chubby Wal-Mart cashier than a sexy lawyer, but you can't give up hope! Continue your search as long as your bank account will allow and keep that charm flowing whenever you talk to that cute doctor as you’re being rushed to the ER. However, if it looks like your time is running out you may want to consider setting your monetary standards a little lower. For example, find a woman who is highly motivated and works hard, even if she doesn’t make much money. As long as you can alter your lifestyle to the amount of money she makes waitressing or bar tending, she will support you with her tips until you have to divorce her for bringing too many male customers home while you are at the comic book store comparing Spider Man costumes with an 8 year old. So keep an eye out for the right kind of woman first and take a look at her check book second; in the end your laziness will indeed pay off.