Dear Drew, just a little curious, what is the appropriate ratio of Wheat Thins to Cheez Whiz for regulation hors d'oeuvres?

Frantic for Fromage in Farmcity, I don't think there is any question that the proper ratio of Cheez Whiz to Wheat Thins is somewhere around 47,000,000:1. Wheat Thins suck donkey balls but nothing can beat that oily, artificial, pasteurized process cheese food we call Cheez Whiz. Sometimes, when I'm all alone on a Friday night, I like to slather my naked body in Cheez Whiz and let a pack of neighborhood dogs lick it all off while I roll around in the grass. I know what you're thinking...that's hot. You are correct.

Dear Drew, My husband is the biggest alcoholic I know. He is always complaining that doing keg stands at a party causes him to feel like a butthole the next day. Why does his head hurt the next day? Is it because that keg beer is the devil? Or is he just a butthole by nature?

Ballerina of the Balcony, This is a question I have plenty of personal experience with. Hangovers just happen to be one of my specialties. So after some research I have discovered that, in reality, keg beer should cause less of a hangover than canned or bottled beer. I know, I am as shocked as you are. The fact is that, because most kegs are kept cold once tapped and they tend not to let air come in contact with the beer, they are more likely to stay fresh longer. The more times beer is allowed to get warm the more likely it is incur the oxidation of ethanol in to acetaldehyde, which will in turn cause your body to experience what we know as a hangover. Now, with all of the science aside, the fact of the matter is that your husband is in fact just a butthole by nature. A portly, sexy, meat-smoking butthole. So feel free to do as many keg stands as you want. Chances are you are going to have a hangover no matter where the 300 ounces of beer you consume come from. Yay!

Dear Drew, Why can't I play "My Lil' Bastard" on adultswim.com?

Pie Guy in Fat Town, We tried to partner up with Williams Street to alter their online game "My Lil' Bastard" since we had actually released our video to the public long before their game was created. But since they are wealthier and much more powerful than us, they declined our request and instead came to our studios and spread meerkat dung all over our stuff. But fear not, we are working to get back in their good graces as we speak in hopes of developing our own television series. Keep checking back here for updates! And screw "My Lil' Bastard," just wait until you see "My Lil' Slutwad."

Hello, I like Louis Vuitton or anything fashion for that matter! I was browsing the web for some new Louis Vuitton luxury items and I found this website. This is a cool site and I wanted to post a comment to let you know, great job! Thanks!

Louis Vuitton in Fashionville, Thank you so much for the compliment! We appreciate your coming around the site and enjoying what you've seen. Check back often for more videos and answers. Keep it rockin' fancy clothes man!