Dear Drew, I really loved your Kids Show video, my kids still can't sleep at night. Would you happen to have any bedtime lullabies that would help them get back to sleep...please?

Dear Drew, Did John Cena get a scholarship?

Nono in Nanette, Yes, John Cena did get a scholarship, but it was to the gorilla house at the local zoo. You see, he has neither the basic intelligence of a three year old, nor the athletic ability of a paralyzed squirrel fetus, so he had to learn the ways of life at the zoo. Hopefully some day he will do us all a favor and just go away. If not, I will simply challenge him to a fight and break his hymen.

Dear Drew, What happens if you're 40 years old and you have a vagina and a penis?

Tim in Transvestite Land, Isn't the answer obvious? PARTY! You don't need money, a job or even friends anymore! You have a penis and a vagina...do I need to spell out this out? Just spend all of your time with yourself, enjoying the sweet love making with the most beautiful person in the world; yourself! Just make sure to use plenty of Vaseline as I imagine you may experience some chaffing.

Did Jesus have any run-ins with the law during his lost years?

Dear Drew, Is it true that most of the Sutton Police Department suffers from Little Penis Syndrome?

Stalked in Sutton, Hmmm...This is a tough one. I have never been to Sutton so I may not be an expert on their police force. I have however met a few people with the last name of Sutton. I have also met several people with "Little Penis Syndrome" (Kevin, Garrett and myself included.) So based on my experiences with all of these things, I would have to say...I have no idea. But cops do piss me off, so yeah, why not.

Dear Drew, why was the mouth of the tree so damned low in the clip "Kevin Interviews STUFF"?

Tree Humper in Talladega, Not a lot of people have experience talking to trees...or humping them. But our very own Kevin happens to be an (the only) expert in all things involving trees. From his extensive tree-humping research he has found that, no matter the tree or person involved, the mouth of the tree is always at the same level of the person's genitals. While I haven't tested this theory out, Kevin tests it out daily. In fact, I can see him outside proving this theory now...he certainly loves his trees. So go out and give it a shot, I'm sure you will enjoy it. Just watch out for squirrels.

Dear Drew,
I really want to start a career as a hard hitting journalist who gets to interview all of the celebrities. Got any advice on how to make my dream come true?

Dear Drew,
I'm still in love with you...can we meet for a sex filled weekend? I'll bet you have a hairy a*s and I'm so into rimjobs. Please post a clue of where we can get it on you sexy hunk.

Hot for Drew's a*s & c*ck, Thanks so much for your invitation for random adult relations. I try to always accommodate the requests of our fans...and this one is no different! The only thing I must ask is that you first pour your sexy love all over my employees, Kevin and Garrett. They are both in desperate need of some physical companionship and would probably let you do just about anything to them. So as long as you are willing to throw them both a bone...literally...I will gladly oblige your request.