Dear Drew, Why does my cat like to eat my feces? It's not like it tastes good or anything. I mean, I would know.

Jack Dark in London, In my experience I have found that, of all the feces in the world, human feces tends to be the most delicious. Gazelle feces are a close second, but even that pales in comparison to a delicious slice of homo sapien waste. Now, as far as your cat goes, I imagine it is a very finicky eater and has great taste. Most cats I know enjoy things like their own fur, their own ass nuggets, and leftover vomit from six days ago. So don't be surprised if your cat also enjoys your toilet bowl gumdrops. Just make sure he saves a piece for me!