Drew, my fiance likes to bitch slap me in bed. However, everytime I bitch slap her I end up in jail. How can I have fun in bed without going to jail?

Bitch Slapped in Hastings, The answer to your problem is right there under your head...pillowcases! After studying the techniques of bitch slapping for many years I have finally found the foolproof formula to prevent any kind of jail time. Stop by the grocery store and pick up a 6 pack of Coke (or Diet Coke, if your fiancé prefers) or grab the biggest phone book you have in the house. Drop one of those items in to an empty pillow case and wait for your moment. As the passions start to flow and the excitement becomes more than you can bear, grab your pillowcased treasure and smack the living sh*t out her. No bruises, no evidence, no jail time. That's right, your problem is solved, you are welcome. *AskDrewNow.com in do way endorses the practice of bitch slapping anyone...unless they really really really deserve it.*