I'm a young lady who is in love with an old man, I was wondering if you knew of a way to get the "turtle out of its shell."

Can't Get the Hokey Without the Pokey, Elderly people can be difficult to arouse, but I know of some tricks to get your ancient man ready for business. First, elderly men love to yell at the radio and shake their fist at the newspaper. Just give him a copy of the New York Times and turn on some talk radio, it will get his blood flowing like a stab wound to the artery. And to add a touch of seduction to the moment, make sure to have a couple cups of tapioca pudding handy. Don't try anything fancy with the pudding, remember that your lover needs to gum his food, the pudding is just to keep him content until the deed is done. Follow these handy tricks and you should be burying that turtle in no time.