Back in York College I stole a Jesus fish off a Pontiac Firebird Convertible because it angered me. Should I repent and give the Jesus fish back or should I continue using it as a pleasure device? I've asked Jesus myself but he hath no answers.

Nun in Nebraska, While I am proud of your exploits and enjoy your story, I must say that I am slightly alarmed. I recently read an article about "Jesusfishitis" and it seems that you may be suffering from this disease. Interestingly, this disease also has the word "sh*t" in it which does accurately explain York College. However, I don't think you have anything to worry about as your symptoms suggest you have a very mild case. So keep up the good work out there, Darwin is counting on you.