I have kidnapped your keyboard turkey and will not give it back until my yeast infection clears up from the thong I bought from your AskDrewNow.com store. Whatcha gonna do when the man who stole keyboard turkey runs wild on you?

Bakin' Bread in Boston, I hate to burst your turkey giblets, but the turkey you kidnapped from the AskDrewNow.com studios was actually one of many "fake" keyboard turkeys we keep around to fool angry fans like yourself. While we do apologize for any unintended side effects from our totally awesome merchandise, at least you can use your condition to start your own brewery or bakery. And please be careful with the imposter keyboard turkey you stole, the only thing we could teach that one to do was go bed sheet hunting for inch worms...you have been warned.