Can I be your friend Drew?

Lonely in Lancaster, Unfortunately I do not have any positions currently open for freinds. However, if Billy Joe Melvin, Dolores, Hugh Jorgan, Matt Clot, Melvia, Melvin Dizzle, Melvin Flowers, Melvin Jackson, Melvin Lukas, Melvin Mettler, and Melvin the Satellite Repair Guy decide to leave the website, I may be able to offer you an application and potential interview to be my friend. So keep hope alive, there is still a chance that you may one day get to be my friend. Just not today.