Dear Drew, I read you're ticklish, so I was wondering if you have ticklish feet and, if so, do you like having them tickled?

Jos, I am actually very ticklish. Every time I see Kevin (the abnormally tall person you see on here) he always greets me with at least 15 minutes of solid tickling. It just makes us both smile! But when it comes to my feet, I will fight to the death to keep anyone from getting near those ticklish feet bastards. Feet are disgusting no matter what. No one should ever have to touch or look at anyone's feet, even their own. Feet are just gross. However, I would like to challenge anyone who sees me to go ahead and start up a good old fashioned tickle fight with me. They are just so much fun and always end up sexy. Just stay away from my feet...seriously.

Dear Drew,
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be really tiny? I think it would be super fun.

Dear Drew, Have you seen the new Lady Gaga video?

Dear Drew, I'm about to graduate and don't want to have to get a real job. My plan to go to school, find a rich lady, then retire on her account has failed miserably. Any advice for a backup plan?

Golddigging Guy in Goehner, This is a problem that I take very seriously as I feel everyone deserves to find a rich lady and retire on her dime. But the sad truth is that it can be very difficult to actually accomplish such a feat. Let's be honest, it's more likely you will end up with a chubby Wal-Mart cashier than a sexy lawyer, but you can't give up hope! Continue your search as long as your bank account will allow and keep that charm flowing whenever you talk to that cute doctor as you’re being rushed to the ER. However, if it looks like your time is running out you may want to consider setting your monetary standards a little lower. For example, find a woman who is highly motivated and works hard, even if she doesn’t make much money. As long as you can alter your lifestyle to the amount of money she makes waitressing or bar tending, she will support you with her tips until you have to divorce her for bringing too many male customers home while you are at the comic book store comparing Spider Man costumes with an 8 year old. So keep an eye out for the right kind of woman first and take a look at her check book second; in the end your laziness will indeed pay off.

Dear Drew, I bought a Clay County news paper to wipe with the other day and on the front page was a headline that stated that some of Harvard will be demolished. Why wouldn't they just demolish the whole town?

Nort, The beautiful town of Harvard has many things to offer us that justify it's not being completely demolished. For example; if Harvard was demolished, where would we get all the meth we need to fuel our weekend drug binges? And if Harvard was demolished, where else would we go to get a delicious lunch and spend the next three days on the toilet with severe diarrhea if not the Black Dog Diner? So when you really look at it Harvard offers us so many important things in our lives that getting rid of it would only serve to make our lives empty and depressing. Now if you will excuse me, I have to get to Harvard to get started on that demolition right away. If I take enough meth before I start I'll probably have the entire town destroyed by lunch.

Who won your latest caption contest?

Dear Drew, You make me feel like a natural woman. Who makes YOU feel like a natural woman?

Lost in Love...land, I find that I am at my most womanly when I kick back in front of the television in my robe and slippers, sip on a refreshing Zima, and stroke my pet eel Richard until the sun comes up. It might seem a little sad, but I find it very relaxing and romantic. If you are ever in the area of the AskDrewNow.com studios and want to stop by for a magical moment, just let us know and we will make sure we have plenty of bottles of Arbor Mist on ice for you. Because in the end, it's each and every fan out there that makes us all feel like a natural woman.

Dear Drew, If a grown man shaves around his anus, when it starts to grow back, will it be pokey? Scratchy? Will it tickle?

The French Connection, I had to consult with some of my associates on this question as I have personally never taken the time to shave around my anus. I mean, what kind of man would consider doing such a feminine thing? Luckily, I did find someone who has shaved around his anus for years and I was able to sit down with him in his bathroom to get the answers to your questions. While I was shaving his coin purse he informed me that he does not feel any pokiness, scratchiness or tickling when the hair grows back around his bunghole. The only discomfort that arises from his shaving escapades is an increase in the frequency of his nards sticking to his legs during those hot, steamy summer days. Now if you will excuse me I need to go shave around my anus.

I recently stumbled onto your site and you three look familiar as hell, do I recognize you from some of your work prior to askdrewnow.com? Or am I just a knuckle?